this is real.

• dear lord i’m sick today.
  > last night was fun though. :)
• it’s weird .. honestly .. hanging out with them.
• this needs fixing. we need to talk. i dooooo love you.
• you are so exciting. but so wrong. so so wrong for me.
  > dear self, end this now.
• another smart decision jordyn, fuck.
• i’m on a downward spiral. it’s not looking up anytime soon. i can’t erase anything i’ve done. what the fuck am i thinking lately.
  > i just do things. i just do the STUPIDEST things ever. without thinking. just impulse. i don’t think anymore. i used to be so smart. i now have so many regrets.
• get clean.
• recover.
• “see what hurts me the most is you won’t admit you was wrong, keep tellin yourself that you was a mom”
  > i don’t give a fuck if you’re ever sorry, you’ll never be forgiven.
  > you have no idea what you’ve done to me, to her and to him, and eventually what you’ll do to her too.
• i need some good trustworthy supportive friends right now.
  > you’re gone again, woopdee dooo
• maria szabo tonight! thank god!
• i can’t believe who i am right now.
• christmas is making me want to barf. no i dont want to decorate the house. no i dont want to listen to christmas music. no i dont want christmas to happen. i want to skip it and everything it entails.
• aa rummage sale tomoooorrow :)